Two Ears and Ten Fingers

There's an old guy sitting next to me, and he couldn't be more clichéd. I say that not as a judgment but an observation. There began a conversation between me, him and another  older lady about movies, and it morphed into his declaring he stopped going to #movies because "I go to be entertained, not to see political messages. I saw three movies in a row, and walked out on all of them. What was that one? Michael Moore? I just don't want to see it," to which my thought was then why did you pay to go see it? 

Further in, I'm likening it to the climate today of how we often go looking for a fight when it could actually be avoided. I did that myself just this morning as someone 'challenged' me on the road. 

I abandoned the conversation early on because I was watching the Vice News piece on the Charlottesville rally and it just got to the part where the car plowed into the crowd. I wasn't expecting to see that and it was shocking. I actually had to work at not crying in public.

I would pause now and then to hear what was being said next to me because the old guy was pounding the bar every so often so it was clear he was on a tear about something. He went through the usual tirades in systematic order; politics (the white people are not wrong), young people ("if I hear one more young person say 'I don't feel any passion for my job'..." and how technology has killed society), he gets harassed everywhere he goes (the bus, Safeway, TSA).

In the middle of all of this, this newer guy who has been working here comes over to introduce himself. "You're a part of my corner, every time I come around this side so I couldn't not say hello!" Turns out that for the past 20 years, he's been working at training rescue dogs for behavioral problems, saving them from being euthanized at the shelters. He came back to working as a server because he needs money to continue doing this work. I mentioned that I have friends who foster and train animals and remarked on what a good thing he's doing.

Then I come back to hearing Old Guy still going on., and she's looking a little like 'how did I get into this?' Now I'm thinking of how we have become such a society of extremism - either we're too encouraging of the younger generation by means of blind optimism or we tear them down by dismissing the things they stand for and dream of. Perhaps we've always been that way but I really believe it's stronger now. I could certainly hear it in the disdain of every one of Old Guy's words. The one thing I agreed with was how Twitter got saved in the nick of time by the madness of one man, because who doesn't like to watch a shit-show unfold in real time?

Then he stood to go, and says to the lady next to him "Thanks, this was really fun, getting to talk to you. I don't get to visit with people very often." and that was the most revealing thing he'd said all afternoon.

More than anything, isolation is what's brought us to this place. People feel so alone - detached or that they can't be their authentic selves. When they see an opening to engage, it becomes extreme in some way or another. We try to reach out to our own kind - those who validate some of what we feel, be it good, evil or nothing more than in between.

At the end of that documentary, I watched the main guy sit calmly and justify why Heather Heyer was killed. The woman interviewing him in the entire broadcast remained stoic at each thing he said. It's not something we see too often anymore; neutrality. It isn't that we shouldn't feel, it's that we should *think.* And ask questions. 

My question is ... would there be such global outrage if the person killed had been on the other side of the protest?

Most importantly, we need to listen when those questions are answered, whether it's what we want to hear or not.

The Sit-Down Heard 'Round the World

I have spent the better part of the weekend apologizing to every friend of color that I have.  Most days of this past year, I have been embarrassed pretty much for the entire human race – I haven’t discriminated.  Even in watching the Trump support movement unfold, I have not discriminated.  After this weekend, I’m calling out the general white population for their lack of empathy, their blatant ignorance and rampant disregard for their fellow Americans.

It was the sit-down heard around the world.  As far as I’m concerned, it’s the greatest sit-down since Rosa Parks. 

Colin Kaepernick made a quiet choice to stand up – or take a seat – and express his feelings on a matter that has been plaguing our nation.  He said:

"There's people being murdered unjustly and not being held accountable.  This stand wasn’t for me. This is because I’m seeing things happen to people that don’t have a voice. People that don’t have a platform to talk and have their voices heard and affect change. I’m in a position where I can do that, and I’m gonna do that for people who can’t.” 

He didn’t make statements beforehand, there were no announcements.  He thought, and he acted peacefully, and he put himself at risk with his career because his felt that strongly about wrongdoings in our society, among his fellow humans.  If we are fortunate, every one of us has a moment in our lifetime that doing the right thing becomes more important than money or other consequences.

And now people have lost their collective minds over it.  He has been called every name in the book, many of them of a racist nature – thereby proving his point.  His actions were immediately declared a disrespect to military – further proving his point.  He has even been vilified as a “radical Islamic supporter.”  (that one wins the award for Most Ridiculous).  It is apples and oranges to say that he is committing offense to our military; the freedoms our soldiers fight and put their lives at risk for include the right to protest.  Even more ironic are the labels of "stupid," "idiot," "dumber than...." (take your pick), because most probably don't realize that he was a 4.0 student.  I could only laugh sadly at those dismissive "armchair quarterback" comments of "like that privileged asshole's ever been oppressed."  You really think that a mixed race adopted kid from the Midwest never experienced discrimination? 

Why is it every time that someone takes a stand for something, it has to be against something that is a far stretch away? 

Then everyone wants to throw in his salary, his upbringing, his color or lack thereof, and of course everyone thinks he should have done it their way.  Money doesn’t solve everything, so throwing his at it isn’t going to solve problems.  Using his celebrity to give voice to those who feel they have none – now that’s doing something.  And it worked.  While this was a personal decision, the media and social platforms did they do best; they bit.  And people are talking. 

This isn’t the first athlete to make a statement during a pivotal moment.  Think Tommie Smith and John Carolos during the 1968 Olympic ceremony.  How about the beloved Muhammad Ali? 

But according to NFL fans, Kaepernick needs to shut the hell up and do his job.  Well, he did.  He played the game he was paid to play, and has continued to do so.  The team management wasn’t scrambling to defend him until everyone went batshit crazy. 

The comments that I have been reading on all of the outlets, of people I know and don’t, have been so vile that it sickens me to be of the same species.  I’m not surprised because it’s a way of thinking that I grew up with, that I know too well.  I’m just disappointed that it seems, between Trump’s encouragement and the breakdown of political correctness – something I’m not always in favor of myself – it is most certainly not improving in any way.  We cannot have disagreements about politics without people resorting to name-calling and vicious personal attacks.  The internet only feeds the fire because for the non-celebrities, there are no consequences.  For Kaepernick, there were consequences, and he still chose to face them head on. 

It’s a statement that I have been making for years, in my own small way, regarding the National Anthem.  That line about “land of the free” has always been a stitch in my britches because only recently have we made more advanced strides in civil liberties, but still too many have those freedoms denied in various ways by fellow citizens, by the legal and economic systems, by ways some of us cannot even imagine.  Yet there is still just so much anger.  Every time I ever wanted to sit out the song, I didn't have the nuts because it was always in a very "patriotic" crowd.  And our ideas of patriotism have become quite twisted since that cold September day.

I have never liked anything about football.  It may be a brutal sport, but it’s also kind of a sissy one.  So much drama all the time for a bunch of guys grabbing on each other in shiny uniforms and always crying foul or amendments or whatever.  What I do love is an inspirational sports story, and I am a fan of sports heroes.

Right now, I am Colin Kaepernick’s biggest fan.

Your outrage says more about you than you think it does. I highly recommend that everyone - including myself - take a good hard look in their mirrors to see if we are putting in even one bit of the effort and courage that he has displayed, but more importantly – take a harder look at why we aren’t. 

Best comment I've seen so far:

A Turkey Rebellion

I am so tired of this trend over the last few years to hate on retailers for opening on earlier and earlier on Thanksgiving.  It's annoying, unrealistic, and just another thing to gripe about in America.

I saw a request on Facebook today to please boycott all shopping on the holiday in solidarity of protesting the "corporate greed" that is taking over.  I asked (and never received an answer from the poster), "Where the hell has the love been, the solidarity, for all of the workers who don't get days off based on turkeys, a child in a manger or hopping down a bunny trail?"  Medical, police, fire, restaurants, gas stations, truck drivers, those in the travel industry - these are drops in the bucket of those who make your world turn while you sit at home shaking your fist and hollering about businesses who exploit their workers and want to make a profit - but look at the bigger picture: brick-and-mortar stores are in a frenzy to stay alive and losing the battle.  These Black Friday sales are what carry them throughout the rest of the year.  Then there's that little question on any retail application; "Are you willing to work holidays?  Yes or no?"  Don't check yes and then be pissed when the game changes. 

I worked through many a holiday when I was younger, for various reasons.  Sometimes I wanted to avoid my family, other times I desperately needed the money so picked up the extra shift.  Maybe I wanted too for someone to be at home with their own family.  And sometimes it was because I had no choice. 

Over the years I've learned a few things, and that is how to manage life.  Just because the majority get to sit down to a Thursday feast doesn't mean you can't do it on a Friday.  Me?  I suck it up and suffer through what my family calls a holiday and celebrate for real on Saturday, when I can enjoy the company of my friends who have no family, had to work, or are willing to sit through a second turkey just to be part of my "I am thankful" gathering. 

I don't participate in Black Friday or venture out much over the long November weekend because it's my tradition to pull out the tree, put up the lights and gear up for the chaos of December.

So, while you're with loved ones and having a spirited rant about why Walmart is evil and every retailer should choke on their stuffing, while you're enjoying the parades, the football games and barely staying awake at the end of it all for the evening news, think about all of those ground workers, announcers, athletes, and all of the people behind the scenes who brought you entertainment or needed information who are not at home where you claim they should be. 

Better yet, take an hour out of your holiday to really appreciate those who are working and bring them a box of cookies, a jug of hot cocoa, or anything that puts your "solidarity" where your mouth is.  And be thankful that jobs are there to put a turkey on the table.