Not So Funny

She wasn’t funny. 

This is my opinion, and just like everyone else, we all have one.  Mine comes from an objective place; last week, I had no idea who Michelle Wolf was, nor do I support or have any life-altering disgust for the people whom she roasted. 

But… she wasn’t funny.

Now, you may be of the majority who disagrees with me, and that’s fine.  I bear no ill will against disagreements.  What I’m seeing is that the people who are throwing accolades at Wolf’s feet are the ones who are already so vocal against our simp of a President and his general political party.  Frankly, I found that she was no different than those she spoke against.  Sure, there was a Hillary joke tossed in to “balance” things out, but the slant was definitely at a hard right. 

Let’s break this down though - she came out explaining and almost even apologizing for what she was about to unleash, so she lost me right at the beginning.  “She was brave!”  Bravery is owning without justification.  With the exception of “you should have done your research,” the jokes weren’t anything I don’t read in my newsfeed every day – which is chock full of comedians so I was surprised to see a few of them label her as “original.”  The jokes were hack, and she came across as someone who was paid to read them aloud with no style whatsoever.  It’s not a plus that her biggest ally is the beyond-brash perpetual victim Kathy Griffin.  And I get that it is tradition to ‘roast’ the political climate, but I much prefer a smarter type of comedy.  It’s not a lowbrow audience or event, and my entire life I’ve been taught ‘know your time and place.’  Just because the other team sink beneath dignity doesn’t mean that we have to.

Now on the flip side, those claiming to be offended are likely putting on a good show because they walk on hot coals as it is; you don’t do that without some expectation of being burned.  And the fire wasn’t even that intense.  Mr. Rickles is probably groaning in his grave.  Making fun of someone’s eye shadow is not exactly an offense to start wars over.  If anyone’s ego is that sensitive, they should not be a public face in politics or any other arena. 

Really and simplistically, this entire dust up is just another opportunity to spread more hatred.  Not the comedian – don’t get me wrong.  She was paid to do a job, she did said job and it is well within tradition.  I am referring to us as a public.  We seize on every single moment of every single day to insult somebody about their choice in politics.  It is disappointing, because we should be better.  We used to be better.  I am so tired of the outright anger or the passive-aggressive attitudes that surround me.  “I encourage healthy discussion, BUT…!” and off they go.

As I understand, this used to be a decent and even anticipated tradition where everyone took a little heat, gave what they got and had a little chuckle at themselves as a whole.  So, is it time to retire it?  Could 45 actually be on to something?  Sure, it’s hypocritical to be the most insulting person on the planet and calling for peace, but maybe we need to look a little more at our own roles.

See, folks, this is why we can’t have nice things.  Because everything has to be so extreme.  Maybe when we get back to a middle ground we can inject funny again – but please, find a better comic to get us there.    

The Real American Way

"You cannot drive out hate with rage." - Joseph Pinion

Let's talk about America.

A year ago almost to the day, the nation got into an uproar because one man whom we had placed at celebrity status uttered a word that is used every minute of every minute somewhere, and suddenly we didn't like it.  This is where we are: we want change and we want it now.  We don't want to work for it though.  We'll yell, scream and stamp our feet all over the internet, we'll show up to the sudden resurgence of rallies and fly our hypocrisies like big, bright flags in the sky.  We'll condemn the world around us, refuse to own our part in it and fail to make change from within.

It's the American way.

The past few weeks have been exhausting.  I have friends in Vegas, and friends all over Napa and Sonoma counties.  Some walked away unscathed, albeit a bit frightened or disconcerted.  Then, on the wave of these tragedies, along comes the hashtag that became a gendered battle cry that was essentially a party that I wasn't invited to because I had a different interpretation. 

You see, we're all about inclusion... until it affects us in a personal way.  Then it becomes my way or the highway.  This isn't new.  We've always been birds in our flocks, but mostly because we didn't talk about all of this stuff with each other.  We waited until we could talk behind the backs of everyone we knew like proper neighbors do. 

We are so far removed from our beginnings, it's like a tragic comedy.  If only we had Shakespeare around to document all of it.  Oh, wait... he did that already.  He looked into the future of the world and gave us the perpetual script.  There are two books that rule this planet; the Bible, and the collected works of old Bill.  We broke up with the parents because we wanted to rebel, to be our own person and not live under tyranny.  I can't help but wonder how John and George and Tom would react to our current culture. 

Frankly, I think they'd call us a bunch of pussies.

Do I sound jaded?  I don't mean to portray only that.  It's taken me a long time to get to a place of balance - to not lose sight of the good despite the immense amount of bad.  That's actually what makes it so much sweeter.  I'm proud of my want to see all the shades of any issue at hand, because hate gets me nowhere.  As every day passes, however, it isn't so much our leadership that has me embarrassed - it's us, or U.S..  People do not rise to power all on their own.  We need to really examine how this came about and do it with some degree of impartiality and a smidgen of compassion. 

And we need to stopppppp being so damn angry with each other. 

I am not a "gender traitor" because I feel that everyone should be heard.  I am just fine with being a snowflake because no two crystals are the same.  If I'm a "libtard," then I guess I'm tard happy.  If I lean conservative sometimes, that's okay too because rules and policy aren't always a bad thing but can't they be instituted without malice?  Maybe I'm the commie that my husband jokes about.  And if I am ostracized for having a loud voice and a different way to seeing things, I'll be sad about it sometimes but then have to remember that differences are what bring the best of us together. They were not the best that I can do.

The America that I know is indeed the melting pot; we are made up of boys and girls and in between, we are loud and shy, racist and tolerant, gullible and greedy.  We worship sports and celebrity and let our teachers live in squalor.  We complain about the price of a movie or a song, until we're on the receiving end of the art and find ourselves telling others it's a small price to pay.  We are gay and we are ridiculously homophobic.  We are narrow minded while we beg to be understood.  We are rednecks and white trash and we are ghetto too.  We will step over the starving on our way to the fanciest eateries in the nation.  We are a people of hypocrisy, of creativity, of power and we are a people of irony.  This trying to neutralize everyone is a ridiculous absurdity.

I didn't want to go out today, to get out of my bed, get dressed and be in the world.  As I often do, I thought nobody would even miss me anyway.  Then I walked into one of my favorite haunts, and immediately Miguel came gliding over with a big smile and after exchanging hellos he said "you made my day just by showing up!  No kidding, I saw you walking in and thought there's my friend and it was like this great cap to the day."  He asked Jared to take care of me, and indeed he did.  Jared and I talked about big banks and little problems and mused why do people fight each other over the small things?  He even preached to me a little in a very unGod-like way.  "I subscribe to the surfer's philosophy; it doesn't matter where it comes from, or when.  All we can do is ride the wave."  He leaned in to whisper, "... and maybe smoke a joint to get us on our way.  Am I right?  You got to find your peace."  His laugh was warm and inviting, and reminded me why I choose to be in this space.

These people do more than bring me iced tea or tolerate my Sally-like food orders.  They make the lines at the store a little bit shorter, they make the post office not so dreary.  They wave a hello, they remember my name or they ask how they can help and don't always limit it to their work.  They share their lives with me, and they enrich mine.  I see them over the years grow up into people who change our world little by little. 

They're the fabric of my America. 

It's a love/hate thing, but I choose to accept every acre of it. 

The Wonderful Vortex of Oz

I watched my first full length presidential debate tonight.  My first one.  So it only took me 45 years.  My husband remarked that this is one thing that Trump has done for the country; more people are paying attention than ever before. 

Okay, I’ll give him that one.

Though it wasn’t Trump who first got me to start clicking on the political headlines more than the pop culture ones.  It was Barack Obama.  The first time I ever heard of the guy was when he was giving some sort of speech saying that the people of America needed to do a better job of governing ourselves than we have been.  A bit of irony there, given Michelle’s hell bent need to determine the legality of what we can eat these days.  I feel as though we’re divided by parents – he’s the easy going chill dad and she’s the obsessive meddling mom. 

I wasn’t sure what to expect this evening.  I’m not on the side of either candidate, really.  One thing that Obama instilled in me, and I believe in many, is a hope for the nation that the majority will do the right thing.  Right now we’re caught in some pretty faraway places.  It’s like living in the land of Oz, and we’re having to decide between the blustering, deceptive Wizard and the wickedly misunderstood Witch of the South. 

Some things were a given; the delicious sound bites, the trademarked snarling at each other, the color by numbers body language.  At one point I was almost proud of Hillary when she placed her hand over her heart and brought her late father into play.  Classic emo move to play to those who want any reason to feel superior over The Donald.  The one tactic that I recognized immediately was how easily Hillary was able to bait Trump into his usual playground behavior.  Every time he barked, she just laughed.  It’s a style of goading that my brother used to do for the first two thirds of my life until I learned to beat him by simply ignoring him.  Donald Trump couldn’t ignore anything if he ever even wanted to.  The claim that he is so easily provoked by something as insignificant as a tweet isn’t untrue. 

Someone – I can’t recall the name – put it rather succinctly in saying that in tonight’s debate, one needed to prove she had a heart and the other needed to prove he had a brain. 

We’re having to choose between the lesser of two gigantic evils.  On some level, Hillary wants to do the right thing for America, but it’s similar to receiving useless trinkets and polite but meaningless gifts at Christmas.  They’re giving us what they think we should have, not what we actually want.  The exception in politics has been the last 8 years in which many strides have been made in civil liberties and a war that wasn’t his but an inherited responsibility.  If Obama could be elected for another term or three, I just might be persuaded to vote.  Trump, however, is so blatant in his egotistical power trip that people are dazzled into buying their own gifts, and they come with his name stamped right on them. 

I have no prediction to what’s going to happen this November.  My job isn’t to foretell, but to examine what is happening as it unfolds, and it’s been one hell of an eye opener.  I have talked with people on and offline from both camps and asked them many questions.  It’s fascinating to listen to both when I am on the side of neither.  It’s not quite the unobjective view, as if I were to choose between the two it sure as hell would not be Donald Trump.  I am not the 1 in 5 who may have been persuaded to change my opinion after having watched this 90 minute circus. 

What I can say is that I am not surprised by this uprising of the dark lord known as The Donald.  He speaks to people I grew up with, to the ones who are blinded by anger over everything they feel has failed in the United States.  They want a country that will be great again, and ignore the many of whom it was never great to begin with.  Ignorance – whether by IQ or attitude – is the real problem of America.  To quote a Dixie Chick, “it’s been a long time gone and it ain’t comin’ back again.” 

If we were to examine the difference in these campaigns, Trump has consistently brow-beaten any and all opponents and any who disagree with him, and he has fed on the fears of us all by shoveling it back at us with a shiny golden spoon.  Clinton may not be the likable sort and she’s taken her shots.  She had one thing right on the money tonight though:  “I think Donald just criticized me for preparing for this debate.  And yes, I did.  And you know what else I prepared for?  I’ve prepared to be President.”

Game.  Set.  Match.

She ain’t wrong, folks.  She’s been preparing for this moment from the moment she said “I do” to Billy Boy. 

So, America, how’s it going to be?  This land is your land, but this land is our land too.  Are you going to emanate the Cheeto Demigod and look only as far as your front door or your next paycheck, or are you going to take a look around and start helping each other up the ladder? 

Because the only way out of this mess is the way we got into it.  We need to take a look at how we’ve gotten to this place we are in.  It’s quite likely that we’re all so angry because it’s not an answer we want to examine so closely. 

Believe me.

The Wonderful Vortex of Oz

I watched my first full length presidential debate tonight.  My first one.  So it only took me 45 years.  My husband remarked that this is one thing that Trump has done for the country; more people are paying attention than ever before. 

Okay, I’ll give him that one.

Though it wasn’t Trump who first got me to start clicking on the political headlines more than the pop culture ones.  It was Barack Obama.  The first time I ever heard of the guy was when he was giving some sort of speech saying that the people of America needed to do a better job of governing ourselves than we have been.  A bit of irony there, given Michelle’s hell bent need to determine the legality of what we can eat these days.  I feel as though we’re divided by parents – he’s the easy going chill dad and she’s the obsessive meddling mom. 

I wasn’t sure what to expect this evening.  I’m not on the side of either candidate, really.  One thing that Obama instilled in me, and I believe in many, is a hope for the nation that the majority will do the right thing.  Right now we’re caught in some pretty faraway places.  It’s like living in the land of Oz, and we’re having to decide between the blustering, deceptive Wizard and the wickedly misunderstood Witch of the South. 

Some things were a given; the delicious sound bites, the trademarked snarling at each other, the color by numbers body language.  At one point I was almost proud of Hillary when she placed her hand over her heart and brought her late father into play.  Classic emo move to play to those who want any reason to feel superior over The Donald.  The one tactic that I recognized immediately was how easily Hillary was able to bait Trump into his usual playground behavior.  Every time he barked, she just laughed.  It’s a style of goading that my brother used to do for the first two thirds of my life until I learned to beat him by simply ignoring him.  Donald Trump couldn’t ignore anything if he ever even wanted to.  The claim that he is so easily provoked by something as insignificant as a tweet isn’t untrue. 

Someone – I can’t recall the name – put it rather succinctly in saying that in tonight’s debate, one needed to prove she had a heart and the other needed to prove he had a brain. 

We’re having to choose between the lesser of two gigantic evils.  On some level, Hillary wants to do the right thing for America, but it’s similar to receiving useless trinkets and polite but meaningless gifts at Christmas.  They’re giving us what they think we should have, not what we actually want.  The exception in politics has been the last 8 years in which many strides have been made in civil liberties and a war that wasn’t his but an inherited responsibility.  If Obama could be elected for another term or three, I just might be persuaded to vote.  Trump, however, is so blatant in his egotistical power trip that people are dazzled into buying their own gifts, and they come with his name stamped right on them. 

I have no prediction to what’s going to happen this November.  My job isn’t to foretell, but to examine what is happening as it unfolds, and it’s been one hell of an eye opener.  I have talked with people on and offline from both camps and asked them many questions.  It’s fascinating to listen to both when I am on the side of neither.  It’s not quite the unobjective view, as if I were to choose between the two it sure as hell would not be Donald Trump.  I am not the 1 in 5 who may have been persuaded to change my opinion after having watched this 90 minute circus. 

What I can say is that I am not surprised by this uprising of the dark lord known as The Donald.  He speaks to people I grew up with, to the ones who are blinded by anger over everything they feel has failed in the United States.  They want a country that will be great again, and ignore the many of whom it was never great to begin with.  Ignorance – whether by IQ or attitude – is the real problem of America.  To quote a Dixie Chick, “it’s been a long time gone and it ain’t comin’ back again.” 

If we were to examine the difference in these campaigns, Trump has consistently brow-beaten any and all opponents and any who disagree with him, and he has fed on the fears of us all by shoveling it back at us with a shiny golden spoon.  Clinton may not be the likable sort and she’s taken her shots.  She had one thing right on the money tonight though:  “I think Donald just criticized me for preparing for this debate.  And yes, I did.  And you know what else I prepared for?  I’ve prepared to be President.”

Game.  Set.  Match.

She ain’t wrong, folks.  She’s been preparing for this moment from the moment she said “I do” to Billy Boy. 

So, America, how’s it going to be?  This land is your land, but this land is our land too.  Are you going to emanate the Cheeto Demigod and look only as far as your front door or your next paycheck, or are you going to take a look around and start helping each other up the ladder? 

Because the only way out of this mess is the way we got into it.  We need to take a look at how we’ve gotten to this place we are in.  It’s quite likely that we’re all so angry because it’s not an answer we want to examine so closely. 

Believe me.