About Me

My photo
Kymberlie Ingalls is native to the Bay Area in California. She is a pioneer in blogging, having self-published online since 1997. Her style is loose, experimental, and a journey in stream of consciousness. Works include personal essay, prose, short fictional stories, and a memoir in progress. Thank you for taking a moment of your time to visit. Beware of the occasional falling opinions. For editing services: http://www.rainfallpress.com/

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Eyes Without A Face

Finally, there is a face. 

She caught my attention at the restaurant's bar with her funny comments that echoed my own.  Her name was Trudy, I think.  Or Judy.  A retired bookseller who overheard my chatter regarding my nerves in being ill-prepared to teach a class that night.  She encouraged me and we shared a few off-color jokes before she told me she was there alone because her 68 year old husband was in Boston preparing to run the marathon for the first time ever.  She didn't look old enough to be married to someone that age!  "Honey, I'm a walking Beatles song.  Lord, you probably have no idea what that means!"  Laughing, I gave her my card, asking her to stay in touch.  Her excitement at finding out I was a writer was contagious for that brief moment.  "I envy you so much, a teacher and a writer!  What amazing gifts you have to offer!"
I'm of the mind that every little dot in the universe is pre-connected before we ever came along.
 
This afternoon I was startled to hear a friend say "Such a shame about the bombings in Boston."  Then in skimming my Facebook posts, bits and pieces began to paint a tragic picture.  On this Patriots' Day, April 15th, the rockets' red glare came from the blood-spattered bombs bursting in air.  As the horror sank in of yet another terroristic tragedy thrust upon us, my thoughts drifted to the woman from the bar, and I thought of her husband. 

Finally, there is a face.

It was after the Arizona shooting of Gabrielle Giffords and many others that I spoke up on Facebook about the ignored problem behind these incidents.  We see the deaths of the innocent, but stare blankly at the face of the mentally ill who are behind the acts of violence that are coming more and more frequently.  The eyes of Jared Lee Laughner burrow into me still.  An acquaintance, Steve, messaged me privately in agreement with my observations and revealed his secret; his son had come home from war with PTSD, displaying such violent tendencies that they live in fear of someday turning on the news and finding it will be their son's face in the headlines. 
The Aurora Massacre touched close to me, as my beautiful cousin Emily lives in the area, as does my longtime friend Angie.  I stayed up all night waiting for them to check in on the site to know that they were not at a midnight showing of the new Batman movie.  As the news unfolded over the days to follow, I was deeply disturbed by the images of James Holmes.  It was after this that I messaged Steve back with how I thought of him and his son every time some new calamity exploded upon us, and that I wished I could find the words to put forth that would raise our tolerance, promote forgiveness, and stop the wildfire of hate that runs rampant among us. 

Do I cheer on those behind the killings?  No.  I cry a little inside every time I think of Brenda Ann Spencer, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, Seung-HuiCho, Laughner, Holmes, Adam Lanza, and all of those lost to us at their hopeless, mind-bent hands.  Senseless?  No, I don't believe that.  Everything is with reason - how can we learn otherwise?  How do we learn forgiveness, redemption, even joy without despair? 
 
 
And when will we begin to see the faces?

My friend Kevin said to me today, as speculation seeped into the media, "Whoever they are, they are Evil with a capital E."  My answer:  "What defines the line between evil and mentally fucked up?"
We don't yet know if this was an act of terrorism or another somebody clawing their way into their 15 minutes, but as a society we are breeding these people, in our nation and in our world with our hate upon hate.  Self-righteousness that we could not commit such acts will only get us as far as a blood-stained bible left on an empty pew.  When was the last time you saw the face of someone reaching out to you for help?  Or did you turn a blind eye to the freak with the orange hair or the deranged guy sitting in the back of the room?   

The names come and go briefly in our minds, but I keep a photo of Jared Lee Laughner on my hard drive, because I never want to forget the gravity of what the human mind is capable of in times of darkness.  I forced myself to watch the footage of the man with two severed legs being tended to today by emergency workers, because I need to keep within me the suffering of people outside of me. 
I am desperately hoping that the funny Beatlesque woman who championed what I do will see this, and that her husband comes home to her safely.  Finally, I found the words.

Because finally, there is a face. 

 

 

(c) Kymberlie Ingalls, April 16th, 2013

 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Tags

kymberlie ingalls (7) neuroticy (7) conservative (6) liberal (6) stormy writer (5) BLM (4) democrat (4) politics (4) rainfall press (4) republican (4) Donald trump (3) neurotic (3) protest (3) racism (3) trump (3) 2016 (2) America (2) Charlottesville (2) Hillary Clinton (2) debate (2) election (2) i'm with her (2) make America great again (2) police brutality (2) retail (2) 45 (1) 49ers (1) 4th (1) Berkeley (1) Cinemark (1) Cole White (1) Nazi (1) OJ (1) Rodrick Shonte Dantzler shooting grand rapids michigan natural born killers adam lambert john hinckley jared lee loughlin giffords columbine virginia tech judge judy (1) Top Dog (1) all lives matter (1) bart civic center fatal shooting sf san francisco police officers cops oscar grant mehserle (1) baseball (1) bathroom bill arizona suzanne sharer transgender cross dresser civil rights women war lgbt pedophile pervert (1) bay area (1) beaten (1) black Friday (1) black lives matter (1) boston marathon bomb terrorist mentally ill columbine Virginia tech sandy hook giffords laughner Brenda spencer holmes aurora shooting neuroticy kymberlie ingalls massacre shooting lanza (1) boycott (1) bryan (1) car accident collision insurance scam auto body fraud trauma loss anger neuroticy stormy writer bandita super woman alicia keys rage stress protest charity mike's auto body AAA (1) casey caylee anthony jury verdict trial headline news nancy grace neuroticy kymberlie ingalls justice homicide murder (1) cbs kpix san francisco most valuable blogger blog award 2011 sf bay area local writer win award kymberlie ingalls neuroticy storm award (1) change (1) charles blair hill san francisco sf bart shooting police cops oscar grant kymberlie ingalls neuroticy protest activist mob kenneth harding roger kymberlie ingalls neuroticy storm left coast voices (1) charles blair hill san francisco sf bart shooting police cops oscar grant kymberlie ingalls neuroticy protest activist mob kenneth harding tanaya gilbert seattle (1) civil rights (1) colin kaepernick (1) coma (1) comedy (1) correspondence dinner (1) customer service (1) cyber Monday (1) directv tivo local channels missing network programming satellite cable outrage bully neuroticy ingalls blog contract service american idol finale winner (1) dodgers (1) donald trump orly taitz barack obama president birth certificate birthers republican whoopi o'donnell thurston (1) economy (1) emily good rochester new york arrested video taping police profiling controversy crime activism activist nyc oscar grant bart shooting fruitvale oakland ca crime johannes mehserle bay area california (1) employment (1) faa airline flying cell phone modern technology gadget blog opinion neuroticy kymberlie ingalls survival (1) family (1) feminism (1) football (1) francisco (1) freedom of speech (1) gay rights civil marriage gltg neuroticy kymberlie ingalls stormy writer prop 8 bible god religion prejudice democrat republican conservative liberal social homophobic homophobia homosexual lesbian (1) giants (1) god cancer bible christian tim tebow football nfl brian copeland facebook religion kymberlie ingalls neuroticy friends illness angels miracles (1) gun control nra piers morgan alex jones cnn repblican democrat liberal conservative president obama military war assault weapons sandy hook aurora columbine kymberlie ingalls stormy writer neuroticy (1) heather heyer (1) holiday (1) hospitality (1) ingalls (1) jersey (1) john (1) july independence holiday fireworks flag US America united states neurotic kymberlie ingalls freedom civil rights lgbt crime education speech (1) kenneth harding sfpd san francisco police shooting muni fare murder gun seattle black minority racial racism discrimination crime rage authority investigation protest (1) kkk (1) knee jerk (1) kymberlie (1) lawsuit (1) lgbtq (1) loneliness (1) management (1) marijuana legalize 420 cannibas weed mary jane happy cows california obama republican democrat liberal conservative medical tea baggers politics election neuroticy kymberlie ingalls prescription drugs (1) mark halperin dick obama president msnbc keith olbermann glenn beck tracy morgan scandal apology apologize (1) me too (1) media (1) michele bachmann bill o'reilly cnn fox news dog walk white house obama president politics republican conservative democrat liberal lavish excess 9/11 rocky toby keith neuroticy stormy writer (1) michele bachmann neuroticy kymberlie ingalls marisa samuels republican democrat liberal conservative tea bagger party birthers politics gay rights art hoppe san francisco chronicle god hot for jesus (1) michelle wolf (1) millennials (1) mindy mccready suicide dead death country music angels guys do it celebrity young whitney houston fans sympathy addiction children kids abuse kymberlie ingalls blogger neuroticy stormy writer (1) movie theater (1) nascar danica patrick girls female athletes sexy go daddy daytona racing janet guthrie shirley muldowney jeff gordon feminism empowerment neuroticy kymberlie ingalls opinion blog stormy writer (1) nascar racing car stock sprint legend dwarf midget dirt track crash soares antioch speedway neuroticy kymberlie ingalls video princess 44 (1) nfl (1) nra (1) observer (1) occupy wall street ows protest nyc new york arrests police brutality marine civil war politics big business corporation banks neuroticy ingalls news topless (1) old people (1) opinion (1) outrage (1) patriotism (1) pledge of allegiance under god citizens patriotism 4th of july independence day america history holiday (1) protests (1) reporter (1) restaurant dining out pf changs chain walmart norm cheers demographics marketing menu change mcdonalds taco bell neuroticy blog stormy writer opinion familiar branding (1) reviews (1) rush limbaugh sandra fluke neuroticy kymberlie ingalls stormy writer blog opinion apology slut prostitute women rights boycott sponsors (1) san (1) san francisco (1) september 11 9-11 9/11 world trade center attack middle east muslim obama president bush tenth 10th anniversary springsteen you're missing politics republican democrat military war troops (1) sexual assault (1) shannon tweed gene simmons family jewels kiss playmate joy behar show reality tv cnn walks off set (1) slippery slope (1) snowflake (1) soap operas abc amc oltl prospect park erica kane daytime horton brady newman cancelled toln quartermaine gh general hospital all my children one life to live guiding light hubbard young restless (1) social media (1) steigerwald (1) stormywriter (1) stow (1) teams (1) thanksgiving (1) trayvon martin george zimmerman violence florida sherrif crime arrest neuroticy kymberlie ingalls stormy writer opinion racism color skittles hoodie geraldo rivera (1) turkey (1) twitter (1) united airlines (1) vice news (1) video (1) walmart (1) white house (1) writer (1) writer of the storm (1) yelp (1)